east coast vs. west coast

since moving to the west coast almost 4 yrs ago, i have been back to boston an embarassing 4 times i think… yikes.  but everytime i go back, i definitely feel the nostalgia and am so excited to see the people i “left behind.”  this time though was interesting.  i flew in on a red eye and as we started our descent, i looked out the window to a sight that i forgot i used to wake up to every day.  the sunrise.  my last year and a half in boston, i was lucky enough to land this great apartment in the north end right on commercial street.  my bedroom faced the atlantic and the windows were interesting… they started from the floor and was a half circle that stopped half way up the wall.  so literally, the second i opened my eyes, i would be looking right at the sunrise.  (well – if i was facing that way of course)  i remember thinking how i cursed myself for a moment for being a light sleeper that the sun shining in would wake me up, but it was so beautiful, i just couldn’t be mad.  (plus, it was easy for me to fall back asleep.)  anyway – the warm & fuzzies started brewing inside me when i saw that and immediately the familiar views of boston logan airport made the smirk on my face turn into a full on smile.

driving on the mass pike to ashland (the town where megs & jon live, also right next door to where i grew up)  i also forgot how every morning i used to listen to matty in the morning on kiss 108 while getting ready for work.  i LOVE matty and i think i was smiling & laughing the whole way to megs’ house.  i took a slightly different way and drove through downtown framingham where i again was reminded of all the saturdays growing up when i’d drive my younger brother to karate class.  i remembered going to the fabric place with my mom & sister to pick out fabrics to make whatever i was making in fashion class.  (that building is now empty & abandoned, sad!)  so i was a little nervous to meet my goddaughter lila for the first time (i mean, that whole family is blonde – i had no idea if she was going to take one look at me and think i was a scary witch!) but WAY excited to see megs & jon when i pulled up my horrible rental car to their house.  lila looked up at me and gave me a huge smile and giggle… ahhh – my goddaughter. 

and all of the time i spent in boston made me feel this unexplainable feeling.  all of the memories… like the walk to work everyday, the salad place i used to always go to, the millions of times i’d walk up and down newbury st., all of the boston sports teams’ paraphernalia, the pru,  the burgers at joe’s & charley’s!  it was all so great… but despite all of it, what made this trip interesting is that none of it made me want to come back.  sad.

anyway, i was the typical me… 3 days in boston and made plans to see TOO many people.  i was able to see over 16 people in various times & places to catch up and love on.  some i talk to all of the time and some i haven’t in way too long.  but in all of these gatherings, i got a lot of the same questions: when are you moving back?  how are you liking life in LA?  what do you miss about boston?  are the people out there as bad as they say?  and it was funny b/c i didn’t really have a direct answer for any of these.  i mean, i did – but i always hesitated to answer them.  i did realize though, after all of the catching up and talking i did in the 3 1/2 days i was in boston, that i am a pretty good mix of east coast & west coast.  as much as i don’t like to generalize, there are traits of both coasts that i have within me.  i can’t say where i’ll be in 5 years, but i can say that i do not regret taking the opportunity of moving to the other side of the country.  if only all of the traveling i’ve done since and the amazing things i’ve been able to experience, i have to wonder if i would’ve done it all if i had stayed.  i give growing up in boston some credit for my dedication to working hard b/c of the competitive nature of the city… but i give L.A. some credit for the life balance i have now.  i’m always going to be a “boston girl” at heart, but a part of growing up and “expanding your horizons” is to expose yourself to other cultures (doesn’t have to be overseas) and be open minded about life’s journey.   so i think that’s why i didn’t have the urge to move back.  i have seen too much at this point to “look back” and now all i want to do is move forward, keep seeing more, continue to do all of the fun things the world has to offer.  there are a lot of uncertainties in life, but one thing i want to be able to say when my time is over is that i lived & handled it the best that i knew how at the time.

so this song is kinda cheese, but it came on the radio the first night i was in boston (i hadn’t heard it before) but i was listening to the lyrics and i thought some of the lines were interesting b/c they could be lines that people are saying to me, but also me saying to some people in my life.

oh & i have to include a pic of me and my goddaughter lila!  (i have tons of the adorable khai & karina, but those will have to come later)

(photography by meganjane – link at the right!)

disconnected…

5 days ago i made the conscious choice to not touch a computer or get on the internet while vacationing in the philippines.  we (kristen, nate, tyler & i) hopped on a plane on monday and headed to manila.  we spent a night there to check out the city considering we had to stop there on our way to boracay anyway.  you will have to bear with me since i’m going to try to consolidate 5 days of traveling & adventures into this one entry…

monday, june 8 – manila | we stayed in the makati area of manila in a nice hotel (somerset millenium) which was walking distance to a huge 5 section mall-type place called the greenbelt.  in the greenbelt there were restaurants, bars and shopping – which is basicaly reminiscent of singapore.  on the way to the hotel though, we were driven through the city where we were all quickly reminded of how lucky we really are.  we took in a late lunch, walked around the mall a little and headed back to the hotel where kristen, tyler & i hit up the hotel spa for some massages – i lucked out and had an amazing therapist, $15 USD and an hour later, i was thoroughly relaxed.  we showered and headed to greenbelt to find a spot for a light dinner and some drinks.  since it was a monday, we found the most “happening” place which ended up being a mostly outdoor restaurant/bar called havana.  the name sets the scene, waitresses w/ unfortunate cuban skirts and hats and music to match.  the food was ok, but the sangria was delish.  a great chill night for friendly chatter and people watching.

tuesday, june 9 – friday, june 12 – boracay | a quick flight on a very little plane to caticlan, a janky boat ride and a weird taxi type pick-up truck to station 3 finally got us to our little home on the island of boracay.  it was funny when the taxi driver stopped and basically told us to get out… we had to walk and find our way to the sheridan villas… we were greeted by a very nice lady, aileen, and she showed us our 2 floor villas.  they were spacious and clean – for the price, perfect for this trip.  kristen and i had our own (#5) and the boys moved from #4 to #2 b/c of the possible sardining of the first.  we unloaded, changed and quickly headed out to grab something to eat and check out the island.  we found a cute little place called lemon cafe which sort of reminded me of lemon moon, but another country’s smaller simpler version.  it was very tasty and  we all sort of got buzzed by accident – which happens when you’re on vacation.  the cafe was nestled in the area called d’mall at station 2.  (boracay is basically a strip of beach and sort of cut up in sections called stations, but really the “station” was a sign stating just that… to give a little reference, to walk from our villa on the far side of station 3 to station 2 took about 20 min – but you’re walking along sand paths and/or the beach of soft sand and clear water so you can’t complain.)  after our late lunch, we took a walk to check out the island.  it’s hard to explain the atmosphere if you’ve never been.  you look around and you see the gorgeous ocean, white sands, vendors approaching you to try to get you to jet ski or ride an ATV, poor kids begging for money,  little stands set up selling pearls and trinkets, restaurants that range from fine dining to a small hut grilling meat, bigger hotel resorts, tiny rooms for rent… a complete hodge podge of modern & rich and desolate & poor.  i did find it very interesting that there was a starbucks and a shakeys on the island!  we found a great little bar that had tables and chairs right on the beach offering 2 for 1 happy hour.  we claimed a spot and soaked in the scene and the sunset.  the next 2 days we spent lying on the beach, soaking in the sun, trying out foods from american, to italian, to asian.  our last day before leaving tyler and nate rented jet skis and went in circles while kristen and i ventured to another island to see the bat caves.  let me tell you – that was an adventure in itself.  we basically took this small boat to another island that looked like they had one house and about 2 little huts.  these “guides” took us through the jungles to the bat cave where the smell made me gag and the pure experience of it made me think of all the scenerios of how i would protect kristen and myself in case of an attack – by the men OR by wild animals!  i was too sweaty and careful about my surroundings to even take any pictures, but kristen did so at least there is some evidence.  i soon remembered the episode of dirty jobs where heartthrob mike rowe talked about the heat and the smell of bat caves.  we opted not to actually go all the way in b/c the jagged rocks covered in stinky batshit (crazy) steered us in the other direction.  they also didn’t prepare us at all – we were wearing flip flops and it was definitely a situation where you needed to be wearing hiking boots at the least.  there were other people coming out as we were standing there just in awe of everything and they weren’t even wearing shoes! gross.  but we were able to get in an amazing boat ride around all of the islands to and from this bat cave adventure which was amazing.  it wouldn’t have been a vacation if i didn’t take advantage of the local spas.  kristen and i actually hit up the kai spa at the boracay regency hotel & resort twice during the week b/c of the incredibly cheap prices and amazing facilities.  we also didn’t leave the island w/o spending some time at the swim up bar – my first… i can cross that off the list.

my travel companions all kept a little connected to the rest of the world by checking email and facebook, but i stuck to my guns and didn’t go near it.  the closest was when i realized that my parents might have been worried so i had tyler email my dad on the 2nd to last day.  since my day to day job entails me to be completely connected to the internet – hell w/o the internet i wouldn’t have a job – but it was honestly very refreshing to keep away from that and really take in the beauty of this island.  one of the nights we spent hrs sitting on these bamboo handmade benches, listening to the waves crash on the beach and the locals’ renditions of such artists as bob marley and dido.  i laid there looking up at the stars and spent what it seemed at least an hour quiet with my thoughts.  i felt so much in those moments.  solitude being on a far off island.  peace being so close to the nature of the earth.  sadness being so far from my family & friends.  confusion wondering if what i’m doing with my life is what i really want to be doing.  happiness that i am lucky enough to experience vacations like this.  excitement and fear for what the future holds for me…  i made myself a promise that i don’t go too long w/o having those kinds of moments to myself.  when i get back to the grind at home, i want to make sure that i set time aside for me to sit alone w/ my thoughts – sounds like i’ll have to make a new playlist for this.  but to shut off the computers and mobile phones and tv (i will have to have some music) but sit somewhere, whether it be in my living room or on the beach in malibu, and process my thoughts.  i really think that it helps be go back to the honest roots of me and what i want and hope for my life and the people around me.  even though i witnessed some heartbreaking visuals on this island (a homeless poor mother with babies begging on the side of the sandy paths) it was a good reminder for me that being disconnected isn’t such a bad thing after all – because if i’m not confident and sure of what my own mind is doing, how can i be connected to anything else in my life?

here are a few pics from the island of boracay: