Not being a spring chicken anymore makes me think about some of my life choices a lot more – well, probably because I’ve lived longer to have made more choices – but I was thinking about them in general lately and what the means for the present and future.
Growing up I always assumed that I would be in MA forever, raising a family in the small town that I grew up in and that everyone I knew then would be in my life forever. I made assumptions that we’d all be doing the same thing all around the same time – boy was I wrong. I think that one of the biggest life changing decisions I’ve made so far is to move across the country when I had the opportunity to transfer when I was working at Yahoo! I remember that plane ride, have never been outside of the country besides Canada, Jamaica & the Bahamas, on a one-way flight to a city I barely knew. I had no idea what was ahead of me. I had no idea if I was going to love it or hate it. I had no idea if it was going to love or hate me. I had no idea how my relationships were going to change. I feel like I have a lot of stories. People tell me a lot that I should write a book, but what would I write? Just a bunch of unrelated stories of my life? How does it all come together? I’ve been reading Common’s book “One Day It’ll All Make Sense” and our lives couldn’t be any different, but the learnings and insight are like the same. Understanding things that happened many years ago now as an adult. Realizing why things happened. Coping with losses and appreciating gains. Learning from the past to help you with current and future situations. Knowing that even though we’re wiser now than we were back then, we’ll still make mistakes.
I think about some of the choices I made in my life, big and small, and wonder sometimes if things would be different if I had made a different choice. Would it be a big effect or a small one? Would it make a difference at all? Did it shape who I am now or was it not going to make an impact at all? There are some choices that I know 100% changed my life – some very small, some longer drawn out choices. The girl that I slowly let into my life – now one of my closest & dearest friends that I could not imagine my life without. The slow and gradual loss of friendships – that the only thing left are memories. The 5 days I took to leave one job for another. The two months I took to move on from a disappointing relationship. The 5 minutes I took to decide where to go to lunch. The last minute decision to just suck it up and go out instead of staying in. All of these and more have left me with beautiful memories, heartbreaking stories, tough defeats, proud victories, and potential exciting futures.
I’m excited to see what kind of other life choices I’m going to make.
