wow…

One thing people learn about me quickly is that I can’t really take compliments.  I’ll take compliments about my work, but I get kinda weird and brush it away quickly – not that it’s not nice to hear, I guess I just get embarrassed or something.  But unless you are complimenting my shoes, I don’t take them that well – I appreciate them for sure, but I don’t like that attention.  Friends tell me to embrace it more, so I’m going to right now.  I hope he doesn’t mind, but I got one of the nicest emails ever this morning from a close friend and I’m going to EMBRACE all that is me & share some of it here. (replacing some sentences with “…” to keep it less personal)

Subj: Have you met Kim?

She’s a friend of mine.  …  She’s actually the person that let me stay with her on my first ever visit to LA.  I think I knew then that we’d end up being close friends because even on the car ride from long-beach we started discussing relationships (hers, mine, friends).  The kind of talk that has become common place between us now.  … but every time we’d see each other we’d have a “relationship check-in” to see how things were going.  I think she was the first person in a long time to actually ask me how my relationship was going.  Some people ask in a way that implies they don’t want details, they just want the standard high-level story “oh, good!  She’s great you know, and we’re having fun and this is great.  Just great.  Did I mention great?”.  But with Kim, the way she asks you, know she’s asking for the real story “To be honest she pisses me off sometimes and here’s why”.   It can’t be helped.  When an honest person asks you an honest question, you have to respond honestly.  Weird right?  

Anyway, from that first car ride I suspected that I had found a kindred spirit whom I could connect with.   ….  I still struggle with relationships, life, …  I rarely know the right way to go.  But I can turn to Kim at any point and ask her how to navigate.  And the best part is, she doesn’t know.  She doesn’t know the right way.  She can’t read the stars.  She can’t look at my palm and tell me I’m going to live a long life of happiness.  She doesn’t whip out a crystal ball, put on a funny hat, and try to tell me my future.  She just charges in and discusses life with me in a very visceral way that lets me know exactly where I am, and that I’m not alone.  That’s the thing, you don’t need a map home, or a guiding star, or a crystal ball. You just need someone else to feel what you feel.  To sit with you in the storm, even if just for a short while.  Most people can’t do that.  Maybe they are afraid of thunder and lightning.  Not Kim.

I think maybe that’s the best way to describe her, she doesn’t scare.  Yeah, maybe of ghosts and goblins and scary movies.  But I know if push comes to shove, Kim will punch both “push and shove” right in the mother fucking throat!  She’s also really fun and likes to dance a whole lot.   It’s hard to find someone with that many sides to them.  But with Kim, it’s like being in a funhouse full of mirrors.  Each one reflects something different, but at the end of the day they are all just showing the same wonderful person.   I can’t wait for you to meet her...

I mean REALLY?!  This email made me cry and I know how lucky I am, so I’m going to keep laughing, dancing & appreciating everything and everyone in my life.  I think of this song when I think of my friend (mostly b/c of the chorus.)  LET’S DANCE!

When the big world falls apart
And you think that the feeling will linger
You need somewhere to start
I will be here

And when it all seems the falls apart
You can’t breath
You don’t know what you’re thinking
You need somewhere to start
I will be here